You Remember What Night Shift’s Like (Niki & Kris Talk)

Chapter 48

 The following morning, I gave report to Kris, beginning with what I hoped she would interpret as an apology,

“Kris, I just want to say again that I’m really happy about your engagement. You must be super excited about going on tour with Spider.”

She smiled, and then added shrewdly, “Thanks Niki, but I get the feeling you have more to say on the subject.”

Busted, I decided to charge ahead,  “Aren’t you at all worried about giving up your nursing job? I mean you’re really a great PICU nurse. Do you think you’ll miss it?”

“What you mean is, ‘Aren’t you worried that marrying a rock star is a little crazy, and what if the marriage doesn’t work’?” replied Kris. “That’s the fun of being alive, isn’t it Niki? A willingness to be surprised. Letting go of things so you can go to the next adventure. I’ve tried many things in my life, and lived in most of the United States. Not everything has worked out, but I’m still standing, no worse for wear. I’m not the kind of person to put down roots for too long anyway.”

Maybe because I’ve been up all night, or maybe because I won’t see Kris much more, I let my guard down, “Do you ever worry that in the end you’ll be all alone?”

Kris’s upper lip begins to curl into laughter, but meeting my gaze, she changes her mind. “You mean, like when you die?”

“Maybe, I’m not sure what I mean exactly, but sometimes I wonder what the right choices for my life are; if I’m doing the things I’m supposed to do, or if I’m missing the point.”

My words don’t make a lot of sense, even to me. “I guess I worry a little that it will end, and I haven’t lived the life I want, or maybe I’m not living life right.”

“I’m not sure what you mean. Right by who’s standard, Niki? Like God? Like the life your parents wanted you to choose? Who’s standard of what’s right or wrong are you judging yourself by?”

I realize I’ve said more than I’d intended. “I’m just tired Kris. You remember what night shift’s like.”

Kris looks at me brightly, and then her eyes soften. “It’s hard being a nurse, taking care of everyone all the time, feeling as though you always have to have all the answers,” she says. “Don’t over think things, Niki. It doesn’t take much to wreck the best-laid plans: a car accident, a cancer diagnosis, or a debilitating disease. Try having more fun, and let go of some the responsibility for healing the world. Have you thought about transferring to day shift? Someone has to take my place. It might open up more of a social life for you.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I’d like day shift,” I hedge. “Too many phones, the doctors overrun the place on day shift.  I’d be expected to join committees.”

“Suit yourself, it was just a thought,” retorts Kris. “So tell me about this kid. Another case of measles? How many does that make this year?”

Comments Off


%d bloggers like this: